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The Ring Makes All the Difference: The Hidden Consequences of Cohabitation and the Strong Benefits of Marriage ReviewFocus on the Family's Glenn Stanton is a student of not only the social science surrounding and supporting traditional marriage, but also the culture, both religious and secular, in which it resides. With a strong command of these two spheres, this makes Stanton the ideal author to examine the chronic but worsening trend of cohabitation.
In the early 1970s, at the apex of the Cultural Revolution, American model Lauren Hutton, succinctly put to words the fears of her generation. In an interview with Time Magazine, Ms. Hutton was unapologetic when acknowledging that she lived with her boyfriend. When asked about the prospect of marriage, she said that it was "great for taxes, necessary for children, abominable for romance."
That such a lie took root amidst the tumultuous turn of culture's tide is not surprising. However, as Stanton convincingly points out with grace, just believing a lie doesn't make it true. Over three decades removed from Hutton's progressive perspective, there is conclusive evidence that the cohabitation experiment has failed, and miserably so.
"This is a rare instance where there's a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon between what many young adults believe and the proven reality of their experience," Glenn writes. "And it is not the moralizing preachers and traditionalists saying so."
Stanton wades through the scientific research indicating that cohabiting couples, if they ever marry, are 50% to 80% more likely to divorce than those who live apart prior to the big day. Cohabiting couples are also at much greater risk of suffering "serious relational impairments" - a gentle term for general discord and dysfunction.
Orthodox Christians will resonate with the early part of the book, which affirms the multi-millennial and Biblical case for marriage. Stanton saves the latter-half, though, for his most compelling and original material. Cohabitation, the author argues, clearly favors men over women. Ironically, liberation from marriage was considered a cornerstone of the feminist movement, and yet decades later, the research now concludes living together outside of marriage is nothing short of a relationship on the guy's terms, whereby a man enjoys easier access to sex, minus any formal commitment.
The tone of Stanton's analysis is redemptive, suggesting that despite disconcerting trends, the institution of marriage remains solid. Such optimism brings to mind the man who once suggested that the large number of divorces indicate that America is still the land of the free. Yes, replied his friend, and the marriage rate shows that it's also still home of the brave.
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